Just sit here and do nothing

This is funny.

Now that I've decided---come what may---to homeschool Ezra starting in August, I took a little time to review my state's laws regarding this method of educating children. 

Here are my three options:

1. Register with the Local Education Agency. This involves the famous Notice of Intent to Homeschool, receiving a packet from the district's "homeschool coordinator," and filling it out. It's pretty simple stuff--- name and ages of children, plus a lot of other stuff that isn't required by law such as social security numbers, notification of address change, and subjects to be taught, as well as a calender that has to be submitted that says your child has been in school 4 hours a day for 180 days in the year. You must submit to state testing. Your child is considered an "independent homeschooler." 

Independent as opposed to what? The answer is...

2. Register with a CRS, or church-related school. Don't even get me started on how only certain institutions are approved by the state, all of which are (as far as I can tell) Protestant Christian churches. Too bad for you Catholic or Jewish kids. Or, for that matter, you Bahai homeschoolers. Using this approach, your child is essentially a student of a church school completing his or her education through distance learning. You are required to use the school's textbooks, have your child take their tests, meet with school personnel, and (for all but a handful of schools) sign their statement of faith. 

Oh boy. So, for some Christian families this might be a valid option, if they can deal with the headache of red tape. This is less "homeschooling" and more "school at home." Maybe that's your style. Or maybe you prefer to be a...

3. Satellite school under a CRS. Thanks to something called the Jeter Memorandum, you can get a CRS to view your home as a satellite extension of their campus. Your child is now a "private schooler." You must still follow all of the CRS' regulations, but you don't have to register with the Local Education Agency or have a bachelor's degree to teach your high schooler. 

And my response to all this? CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE.

Hmmmm, I'm thinking.  Lots of state laws about who can teach what and in what manner. Lots of parents having lists of "friendly lawyers" in case they're ever hauled off to jail on truancy charges. And all this a little over two hundred years from the time when a group of homeschooled guys got the radical idea to overthrow the tyranny of the English government.

You know. I'm talking about George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, James Madison. (Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison were also homeschooled: imbeciles, both of 'em. Okay, I digress.) Thomas Jefferson would eat his wig if he knew about this.

Of the three options, the only one even worth considering is the first. And most of the secular homeschoolers I know go for that option. But why, I ask myself, should I agree to let my choice of curriculum and my teaching methods be scrutinized by a non-expert? And by non-expert, I mean anyone who hasn't spent the first minute with Ezra to glimpse what a unique little human he is and to understand what his needs are.  Forget about the fact that nobody is ever going to force my children to take those ridiculous standardized tests, which aren't worth the paper they're printed on. I just protest on principle.

All of the Californians out there are groaning and rolling their eyes. Stop it! They say. You have it so easy! Take advantage of the chance to legally teach your child at home!

Yes, the Californians (those imaginary ones that are talking to me right now) do have a point. My state has provided a comparably non-intrusive way for Ezra to learn at home, and all I have to do is provide the Local Education Agency with some personal information that is NONE of their business.

But let's give California parents their due. They are fighting Justice H. Walter Croskey, who is possibly one of the most disgustingly brain-washed judges to have beamed his chipmunk grin form the high seat. The enlightened Croskey said that parents do not have a constitutional right to homeschool their children. Well, this isn't a surprise. That's been on the books since the 1950s, but Californians (being Californians) just chose to eat granola and ignore it. What's really disturbing is what Justice Croskey would prefer for children:

"A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare."

What? WHAT?!?!?! "Training school children in good citizenship" just smacks of the Hitler Youth. In fact, the whole thing is just revoltingly Orwellian. Croskey's main concern is that children learn patriotism and loyalty in school?!?! 

He has never heard of the Three Rs. Apparently.

But more to the point, I started to wonder (spurred on by disgusting individuals like Justice Croskey to stubbornly DISOBEY the law), "How does one commit civil disobedience for homeschooling?" I had done it a few times at my friendly neighborhood nuclear arms facility, which (in violation the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Act of 1978) continues to manufacture nuclear weapons components and styles itself the "Fort Knox of enriched uranium." This was low-level civil disobedience, involving me as a teenager getting shouted and scuffed at by local police while joining arms and singing "Redemption Song." Nothing much ever came of it, due to my status as a minor. 

This somehow seems much different. The anti-arms rallies were really more like meaningful outdoor parties for people who wear clogs and burn Nag Champa.  They were very public, lots of support, and you knew what you were supposed to do (bring down The Man, mostly). 

But how do I go all Thoreau on their asses when it comes to homeschooling? Do I send in a letter on formal stationery to my local superintendent? "Dear Sir or Madam. Up yours. Sincerely, Amelia." Do I hang a flag in my window beside the Ron Paul posters? "Citizen thinking for herself inside! Arrest immediately!"

I began to realize: I just sit here and do nothing.